Another Day At The Office...

It's Tuesday and already I'm staring down the barrel of at least a six-day week. Three meetings before lunch. One with my boss. "You know that project you've been working on? You'll have to drop it IMMEDIATELY because of the Y2K problems. Y2K is your number one priority. Sorry." Yeah, just what I need one more number one priority, more stress. How in all that is wondrous, am I going to pull this one out of the fire without burning something else?

Just thinking about it raises my blood pressure a notch. Where's a heart rate monitor when you really need one?

I get out my pad and pencil and start playing with schedules and hardware trying to figure out when I can make things happen. I try really hard not to notice my fellow cell mate in the next cubical, laughing on the phone. I think evil thoughts at him, knowing that he's off to Florida next week on a conference. It really is a "Dilbert" world, and I swear Scott Adams is looking over my shoulder taking notes. It doesn't feel very funny living in the middle of a comic strip. I keep reminding myself that I really like my job. It could be worse, I could be on the factory floor instead of being paid to play with computers.

The phone goes off just as someone calls out my name from down the aisle.

Which one to ignore, which to directly try to weasel out of. I go for the phone, and hold up my index finger at who ever it is behind me, requesting just one minute. I lift the receiver, ready to bark at the person on the other end. I show due restraint and try to put a smile in my voice and agree to yet another meeting after lunch. Great, another hour of my time today, gone! I'm about two shakes away from a serious melt down.

I'm expecting the person behind me to tell me of a breakdown that will keep me busy the rest of the day, so I turn around ready to yell "NO!" Instead, I'm greeted by two smiling jokers bearing gym bags and insults.

"Are you going to sit there all day or are you going to try and keep up with us?" grins Ed.

"That is unless you really want to work through lunch again," says Franco.

I let loose a sigh of relief. "Sounds like you guys have come to my rescue. I'd kiss you both, but it would only improve your reputations," I say as I grab my coat. "Let's get the hell out of here before someone else finds me."

And so the insults, badgering, lies and good-natured harassment start as we head for the door. It won't stop until after the shower and we climb the stairs to work.

I wave at my boss and a few other people, as we make an escape for our twelve o'clock run. Everyone puts up with us, me especially, on our noon time disappearances. Everyone knows that will we will return not only refreshed, but in better humour, able to attack our various problems with clear minds, renewed vigour and a smile on our faces.

By Mark G. Collis

Revised: December 24, 2003.