If I Ran - A Meditation

If I ran…

Would it make a difference?
Could it?

If I ran…

Would gluons still hold quarks together?
Would protons and neutrons keep attracting one another?
Would molecules continue to vibrate at a constant frequency?
Would water still freeze at 273 Kelvin?
Would argon remain a noble gas?

If I ran…

Would the universe slow its eternal expansion?
Would the galaxies cease their spinning?
Would the planets and moons halt in their orbits?
Would sunrise and sunset be abolished?
Would the tides stop their ebb and flow?

If I ran…

Would the winds blow as hard?
Would the winter snow fall as deep?
Would the spring sun still shine warmly?
Would the summer rain fall as far?
Would the autumn leaves cover woodland trails as thickly?

Would it really matter?

If I ran…

Could a mouthful of ice-cold water taste as sweet?
Could a hot shower feel as good?
Could the crunch of leaves underfoot sound the same?
Could the smell of cooking bacon on the wind, be more tempting?
Could seeing the anticipated sunrise be as welcomed?

If I ran…

Could I train my uncooperative body?
Could I gain confidence in myself?
Could I become stronger and healthier?
Could I enjoy the spirit and company of others?
Could I push the limits of what I am able to do?

If I ran…

Could it make me a better person?
Could I change how others see me?
Could I inspire others to change?
Could I learn to lead by example?
Could I learn to follow?

If I ran…

Would it make a difference?
It could.

Dedicated to Ben Christopher.
You made a difference.

It's been a tough month, emotionally, mentally and physically.

The physical part is the easiest to deal with. If you are tired, you quit working and get some sleep. When you are injured, you ease off and recover (this is harder than it sounds). If sick, you stay home, get in your jammies and drink lots of fluids.

The mentally tough parts are harder to work though. When it's 2:00 AM and you are still working though a problem and can't sleep, it is really tough to shut off the brain. The only solution I have for this type of trouble is to grab my guitar and pound away, if it is during waking hours, or grab a book and head to the front room and read, if it isn't.

The emotional rough spots are tougher for all of us to get beyond. In some cases, you never get over it, you just learn to deal with it and move on between recurrences of the tough bits.

And one of the toughest lately for me has been the passing of the loved ones of friends. It has been very hard to have the right thing to say or not feel an imposition on their personal grief. The only thing I can do is to let them know that I am there for them and hope they understand.

Part of what I wanted to say in this edition's column echo's those feelings and a desire to communicate my feelings of loss and the unexpected connectedness and impact we make in others.

Sometimes you touch those around you and make the biggest difference in the world by not trying to change the world, but by just being who you are.

By Mark G. Collis

Revised: December 24, 2003.