Spitting, Sweating And Other Natural Occurrences

I read an interesting series of posts on rec.running concerning spitting, blowing your nose and other bodily functions that happen to all of us while on our daily run. It was quite entertaining and enlightening to hear about what the women had to say about overcoming the self-consciousness required to be able to spit with "the boys".  However, once over the fear that their running bud's wouldn't recoil in horror at the breach of mixed company etiquette, they became quite proud of their ability to launch a luger.

Obviously, you can't just reach back and hork out a big one  when you are in a crowd, dressed in suit and tie or little black dress and pearls. However, in your shorts and singlet, it seems a part of the uniform.

Strange. I guess it never occurred to me that running, sweating and spitting are considered "unladylike" when used together. But then, it's an athletic thing, not a manners issue.  Unless, of course,  you miss and hit your running partner.    Come to think of it, there's a lot in this sport that could strictly be considered "unladylike".

I never gave it much thought to tell the truth, until I read the posts. I guess it's just a macho guy thing you learn when you are young. When I was ten or twelve, I remember sitting on a neighbour's porch railing with two of my brothers and a couple of other guys practicing our spitting (well, that and belching). It wasn't good enough just to be able to spit, you had to master all the techniques, displaying good form and distance.   You were required to be able to spit using oral back pressure with a mouthful of saliva, perform the rolling off the tongue on exhale of a thick wad and the old squirt between the teeth. The grosser the gobber, the higher the marks. It was a rite of passage for every twelve-year-old kid that grew up on our dead end street.

Then there's one of the guys I run with at lunch who never learned how to spit properly. If he does feel the need to expel phlegm, he inevitably gets it all over his chin, chest and anything else in the way. It's pathetic, but at least he's improving.  He says that he never learned how to spit as a child.  I wonder, could this be termed as an abnormal childhood or just an unmisspent youth?  I always thought that you couldn't be a kid without learning this essential life skill.

There is something very satisfying about being able to expectorate, the build-up of pressure, the snap of your neck, solid release and graceful arc of that mucus projectile as it speeds to earth.  It's a small pleasure that is hard to quantify, but a pleasure none the less.

The other thing that the ladies were discussing was being able to blow your nose without a wipe, like the guy in the Adidas advertisement seen in Runners World. I've never tried it and I'm afraid I'll end up wearing it and embarrassing  myself. I'll save practicing that one for solo jaunts before I attempt it with an audience. For now, I'll just snort it back and spit it out.  It's safer that way.

And sweating. Don't get me started.

One of the guys at work shares my locker on the days he runs as he hasn't managed to score one of his own.  I always hear about how smelly the locker is.  Well, what do you expect, the clothing has to air out some how between runs.   And this from a guy who's hockey equipment bag has on occasion spent one too many days in the trunk of his car.  Go figure.

And another thing, don't women do the sniff test to see if you can wear that shirt just one more time before laundry day for your exercise clothes?  I mean, unless it's developed a character all it's own, who's going to notice after the first couple of minutes running anyway.

I love the line that I get from people at work when I ask them if they want to join me.   The answer?  "I'll get all sweaty."  Hold on a minute, isn't that the point?  Maybe they just don't get it.  To my eye, there's nothing like the sight of a fit, sweaty, well toned woman.  Yes, it's a little sexist, but I'm a guy who appreciates a well turned ankle (not a twisted one), and besides I'm sure that it's similar for the ladies.

That's the thing I like most about running. It breaks down the barriers between the sexes and gives us permission to share the full experience of animal exertion with minimal guilt. One of the best examples I can think of was the 1999 Chilly Half Marathon in Burlington. As you can well imagine it draws quite the crowd. It's run the beginning of March and it's usually pretty cool, but it is the first long race of the spring season.   With it being so cold, most runners would rather wait inside for start time where it 's warm.

And then there's the question of "facilities". Four hundred runners, two washrooms, one for the men, one for the females and long  lines to both. Towards start time the crowds were packing the Days Inn trying to stay warm and the lines to the lady's john were huge and crawling, the guys line was much smaller and moving steadily.

So, as time winds down to the starting gun what happens? You got it, the ladies start using the stalls in the men's room. The really cool thing about it was that no one seemed to care. The guys at the urinals just got on with the business at hand, the women theirs. Talk about breaking down barriers.

I think that's one of the things I like about this sport.  It's not about looking good, image or self-consciousness.  Everyone looks the same in running shoes and tights.  You can't tell the neurosurgeon from the dish washer out on  the road without a program.  Running is the great equalizer of class mentality. I'm glad to see that it is almost as effective at removing the differences between the sexes.

Running  is about listening to your body and being comfortable with it.  It's about letting go of everything that gets in the way of that finish line. It's about being the best you can and moving past barriers in your way.  It's about self-confidence and accepting yourself as you are.

By Mark G. Collis

Revised: December 24, 2003.