You Don't Have To Be Smart To Be A Runner

Many of you probably have heard me repeat my first rule for runners. It states that "You don't have to be smart to be a runner". The more I ponder it and the more time I spend running, the more I have come to believe that it's more than just a humorous phrase.

For most of us, running isn't rocket science. You put your shoes on, head out the door or onto your treadmill and put one foot in front of the other until you stop. Not much strategy is required except at the elite levels and even then the toughest decision is what pace to run and when to start your kick. To be honest, the hardest thing most runners have to consider is which race to register for and whether to wear just the T-shirt or add the jacket.

Running is a simple sport. There are no gears to change, nor the need to consider aerodynamics to any great degree. Split second reaction times are rarely required and the only man-machine interface you need to master are the buttons on your wristwatch. There are no ballistic physics to calculate, no Newtonian effects of objects in motion verses objects at rest to resolve. Runners don't have to worry about one hundred-mile an hour fastballs or the bizarre antics of a knuckle ball in flight. You don't have to communicate and coordinate your efforts with teammates except for the minimal time required to pass a baton in a relay. Pads, sticks, bats, rackets, helmets, protective gloves and body armor aren't a part of our sport and neither is the need for multi-million dollar sports palaces. We don't need two teams of ten people or a squad of referee's to play our game. We only really need shoes on our feet and a will to run.

Distance running all comes down to your body, your mind and the road beneath your feet. It doesn't get much simpler than that.

There is the down side, even this simplest of sports has it's dark corners. I think that the appropriate medical terms are obsessive, compulsive, anal and possibly self-destructive. My brother prefers the layman's term, "Stupid".

When it comes to statistics, baseball fans have nothing on runners. Runners are some of the biggest number weenies around. Every runner I know can quote his personal bests (PB) for each distance not to the minute but to the second, sometimes to the hundredth of a second. Some will even quote you each kilometre or mile split on their last marathon along with a detailed analysis.

More than one runner I know will complain about a course or splits being short or long. Everyone's favorite local race in Burlington, Ontario, "The Moon In June" is notoriously short. Everyone knows it, everyone complains about it, but they still pony up their money and run the race. Only runners will argue and complain for hours that a given course was fifty meters short, but still show up every year.

All marathoners I know, myself included, are quick to point out the exact distance of a marathon or to correct someone when they mention that a marathon is about 26 miles. Only a runner would worry about that point two miles (or 385 yards, to be exact) after twenty-six. How many runners do you know that get down right indignant when asked, "So, how long was that marathon?".

Who else but a runner would go on a long run on a route they haven't gone before and then go home, grab their bike and ride the same route just so they can mark the exact distance they ran in their log book?

I know that I have on record every step I've run in the last four years. I can also quote you my weight, distance, time, where, when, who I ran with, how I felt and the weather that day. You want totals, averages and analysis? I can give you that too. Want a graph detailing my times for each run including trend lines over each year? 'Nuff said. Guilty as charged your Honour.

We've all heard the joke about the guy hitting his head against the wall. When asked why he was doing it, he replies "Because it feels so good when I stop". Does this sound like a runner mentality to you? It sure does to me.

How many runners have you known that had to take time off because of overuse injuries? How do you get overuse injuries? By not listening to your body and continuing to do things when it starts hurting. How many runners do you know that will run through an injury? Lots, I'm guilty of this sometimes myself. Most non-runners would stop doing something when it hurts. It makes sense to me. Why would someone keep doing something that makes them go OUCH? I personally know a runner who cut off a perfectly good cast with a hacksaw after being diagnosed with a stress fracture. Runners are compelled, maybe addicted to run even when injured. This can't be defined as smart behaviour.

In fact, most runners won't consider it a good run, race or workout unless they are sore afterwards. Would a smart person knowingly do something that hurt on purpose? Nope, they stop, but a lot of runners don't.

"Real runners" cringe when friends and coworkers label us joggers. None of us like the term and feel offended when someone tries to apply it to our efforts. I have heard a number of definitions, defining the difference between a runner and a jogger, but the only one put forward that rings true for me was one that running buddy Pat Peters suggested on a lunch time "jog".

A Jogger wouldn't run in the rain on purpose. They don't run during the blistering heat of the dog days of summer, nor in the winter when frigid arctic winds blow. A jogger may perspire, but not the full body sweat that you get after an all out five-kilometre run. Some joggers just put in an appearance, more worried about fashion than about effort, more concerned with colour coordination than speed. When it starts to hurt, a jogger is smart enough to stop.

A Runner on the other hand welcomes the vagaries of weather, confronts the limitations of their abilities and acknowledges the discomforts of muscle and sinew. A runner will not accept the limits imposed upon them by their peers, the clock or their body. A runner willingly takes up the challenge and costs placed before them to stretch the limitations of their body and mind.

So, I think the whole thing about being a runner comes down to the difference between a runner and a jogger. No, you don't have to be smart to be a runner, you just have to be willing to embrace the challenge.

By Mark G. Collis

Revised: December 21, 2007.